By NayEunique
Here we go again.
I wish like hell I loved it like before.
The excitement, happiness, the joy
I use to have for it all, long gone.
I just don’t have it anymore.
The sights, the smells, the faces
Use to all bring me such a thrill.
Now, my disdain for it all gives even the warmest of folks
A chill.
But I can’t help it.
What once brought me such nostalgia, now fills me
With such dread. It has taken residency deep within my bones.
The overwhelming sense of uneasiness in the months to come,
It refuses to leave me alone.
“Cheer up”, “It will get better”,
Things repeatedly said to me.
But after years of more of the same, still,
I can barely bare it.
The burden, still as heavy as can be.
Every year, it gets harder and harder for me to fake it.
My unwanted accomplice never makes it easy for me,
No matter how hard I try.
Memories, of once was, constantly flood my mind,
Always causing the most restless of nights.
I do my best to impersonate happiness, especially this time of year.
Truly I do. I really go out of my way.
But the monster, the MonSter, makes it so damn hard
To even like, let alone love, the holidays.
